Every Day Above Ground (mallorys_camera) wrote,
Every Day Above Ground
mallorys_camera

Travis Bickle Is My Spirit Animal

RTT’s phone broke (again), so I’m gonna bite the bullet, upgrade, and give him my 8 Plus.

Not actually his fault—he’d been using a very ancient iPhone (an old one of mine, of course!), and I’d been looking wistfully at the second-to-the-latest generation of iPhones because better cameras, and I do love my Art Photos.

Couldn’t justify the cost. Seems to me, it is most unwise to take on any additional costs at this time if you can possibly avoid them.

But he’s got to have a phone. I can’t deal with RTT not having a phone.

I suppose if I were psychologically healthy, I could contexturalize this as a win/win situation: We’re both getting something we want, right?

Instead, I’m thinking: FUCK.

So, I guess I’m not psychologically healthy.

###

It did snow Saturday. Several major squalls where the flakes fell fast and furious, though this being May and the temps hovering (just) above freezing, none of it stuck.

Still. The snow showers did contribute to the overall feel of End Times. Snow in fuckin’ May!

###

Yesterday, the weather swung back to nice again.

It was kind of a busy day with L’s b-day and work-related deadlines in the morning.

I had organized a small b-day party with a carrot cake.

Neighbor Ed came over en masque and loitered just inside the doorway for an hour or so.

“Where’s Pat?” L asked.

“Oh, you know,” said Neighbor Ed, waving airily. “She’s having one of those days.”

Those days! I can relate!

“Why don’t you come in and sit down?” L demanded.

“Oh, no thank you,” Neighbor Ed said. “No, thank you.”

###

In the afternoon, the kids and I did a Mother’s Day video chat.

chat


This should have made me feel better.

But, in fact, it made me feel worse. Like I wanted to go on a tri-state killing spree or something.

Maybe I wouldn’t shoot real humans. Maybe I’d just shoot Westworld androids (before they got uppity!)

But I definitely wanted to shoot something.

If I’m gonna be under house arrest anyway, then I feel it’s only fair that I get to act out in dramatically antisocial ways to justify being under house arrest.

BAM! BAM! BAM!

Travis Bickle is my spirit animal.

###

On a recent Freakonomics podcast, some Famous Psychologist was talking the rate of exchange between positive and negative events.

“It takes four good things to wipe out the negative emotions associated with one bad thing,” he explained.

I guess I’m deep into deficit territory on that one.

Crossposted from Dreamwidth
Tags: covid-19, psychological depression, robin
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