Every Day Above Ground (mallorys_camera) wrote,
Every Day Above Ground

Broken Down Cars and the Unitarian Church

Dreamed that my car had broken down. In the peculiar way of dreams, my car was somehow indistinguishable from my bicycle; I held a rusted gear crank in my hand, and that’s how I knew I wouldn’t be able to drive that car anymore.

Well, what do you care? I asked myself. You’ve been talking about getting a new car for ages, and now you can!

But I was inconsolable.

There was also a woman in labor in my dreams. She was screaming and moaning; she seemed very scared of the process of giving birth, and I wondered, Why? She’d been through it before!

The woman was spraying herself with some kind of amazingly wonderful perfume. I wandered over to her, surreptitiously picked up the bottle and was shocked to see it was a very cheap drugstore brand of perfume. It just interacted with her body chemistry in some amazing way.


I’m thinking I have to recruit some people to hang out with here in the quaint and scenic Hudson Valley who Speak the Language (as it were). Or this winter is going to be very long and very dreary indeed.

I mean—I have people to hang out with.

But their idea of conversation is to recite the plot of last night’s Big Bang Theory.

I’m not looking down on them or anything. I understand that what’s coming out of their mouths is essentially well-meaning noises that really signify, I like you. I trust you! You are in the outer circle of my tribe!

They could be talking about concerts they’d just seen, or YouTube videos on climate change, or how much they hate Donald Trump.

I’d have the same reaction. A kind of polite smile.

I’m craving a deeper connection, but I don’t honestly know how to make that deeper connection. My writing has always been my message in the bottle, but most of these people do not know I write, and would not be interested in what I write if they did know.

Gayle and Nick—the people I did voter registration with—belong to the local Unitarian church and were urging me to Come on by!

I might just do that.

I need activity partners.

I spend too much time inside my own head.

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Tags: dreams, introspection
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