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Shut Up and Tell More Jokes

Went to the New Paltz craft fair to get my totemic typewriter key bracelet repaired.

Saw these necklaces.

Then a very strange thing happened.

I heard this boom—like the loudest peal of thunder you’ve ever heard—and this huge crack appeared in the ground. And a black stage arose from the crack on which were standing four men in black leather armor and matching headgear. They were abnormally tall! And I think dry ice was involved somehow.

“Buy those pendants, or we’ll shoot your cats,” said the abnormally tallest of the four. He was using some kind of voice distortion apparatus.

Well, I mean—what could I do?

I love my cats!

I had to buy those pendants, right?

What choice did I have?

Best use of one of those awful Hummel dolls I’ve ever seen. And I’ve been a mahjong fan since seeing Crazy Rich Asians.


Crafts fairs are always a mixed bag. One has to admire the time and love that goes into the creation of the jewelry, the stained glass, the wooden furniture, the knitted and crocheted wintergarb, but inevitably, there’s much of a sameness to the items you see. They’re like expertly done covers of familiar rock ‘n’ roll songs.

Design is the differentiating factor.

And it’s difficult to come up with creative designs that are scalable, utilitarian, and aesthetically pleasing.

That said, there were some other pieces I would definitely have spent money on if I had money lying around under the mattress.

These lamps and candle sticks. (My personal aesthetic is anthropomorphic!)

These handbags. (Although, of course, you could never in a million years use one).

I avoided doing anything useful for the rest of the day by going on a long hike—eight miles since you ask. It’s back in the high 90s again today, so I had to get my exercise in since it’s doubtful I will be leaving the house. Heat advisory!

On the drive home, I listened to a radio show that played segments from Richard Pryor’s Wanted album.

Richard Pryor was once one of my favorite comedians.

Hearing Richard Pryor made me flash on a conversation I had several years ago with My Son, the Social Justice Warrior.

(Yes, yes, I’ve told this story many times before, but each time I tell it, my son and I say different things to each other, depending upon my mood and the point I’m trying to make to some invisible audience, so I love retelling it.)

I was desperately trying to explain to Max why humor is the most wonderful thing in the world because it’s a little satori! It’s a moment of kenshō. In a perfect world, there wouldn’t be any jokes!

“Yes,” said Max, “but in a perfect world, there wouldn’t be any racism, sexism, or other forms of political oppression either! Wouldn’t that be a good thing? Isn’t that worth getting rid of humor?”

To which—political reactionary that I am—I could only scream, NO! No! A thousand times, no!

"I just watched some comic on Netflix," [profile] chezsci told me yesterday. "And he railed for ten minutes about Picasso and how horrible Picasso was. And I was thinking - Jesus, grow up, of course Picasso was a piece of shit; everyone is a piece of shit, shut up and tell more jokes."

This entry was originally posted at http://mallorys-camera.dreamwidth.org. You may leave comments on either Dreamwidth or LiveJournal if you like.



( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 3rd, 2018 04:13 pm (UTC)
If there was no dark, there could be no light...
years ago, there was a sketch on Mister Rogers Neighborhood about a perfect world like that - everyone was purple - they were named Paul and Pauline, but you didn't know which one you were because everyone was exactly alike...
I found that world horrifying
Sep. 3rd, 2018 04:23 pm (UTC)
I benefit from the world's inequities. And I'm happy to be one of the fortunate who benefits.

Human nature being what it is, there will never be any such thing as a fair and just world. (As George Orwell said, All animals are equal. But some are more equal than others..)

Since the world is unfair, and someone's gotta come out on top, that person might as well be me.

Of course, I'm not on top as Americans reckon such things.

But since Americans are closer to the top than 90% of the rest of the world, I benefit from that.
Sep. 3rd, 2018 06:38 pm (UTC)
Yep. Equality only exists in math.
Sep. 3rd, 2018 06:51 pm (UTC)
Sep. 3rd, 2018 11:33 pm (UTC)
As an educated American, you are a 1%-er on the world stage!
Sep. 3rd, 2018 11:35 pm (UTC)
I am. And I try to use that privilege for the greater good.
Sep. 3rd, 2018 04:13 pm (UTC)
Oh! Oh, those bags look magnificent. I've seen them online and resisted buying one, as I know they'd end up in a bad way.
Sep. 3rd, 2018 04:17 pm (UTC)
They're gorgeous!!! But you cannot use them; they'd fall apart immediately. She's priced them in the $250-$350 range, which I think is as bit high.
Sep. 3rd, 2018 07:15 pm (UTC)
Whoa, yeah, that's a bit high. Beautiful design and points for re-using old materials, but the falling apart and cat fascination factors are high.
Sep. 3rd, 2018 06:30 pm (UTC)
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Sep. 3rd, 2018 06:51 pm (UTC)
PutinBots like Hummel dolls!

Who knew? :-)
Sep. 3rd, 2018 08:28 pm (UTC)
Those box bags would be good for a child to carry toys in.
Sep. 3rd, 2018 08:52 pm (UTC)
They're pretty flimsy. That's the thing. The bags look great, and the bags are primarily about the way they look. But you couldn't really use them for much.
Sep. 4th, 2018 01:38 am (UTC)
Nothing funny dammit
So Orwell was wrong about the image of the future. Not a boot stamping on a face forever. Just a voice droning on and on, telling us all the good things, about which you can't laugh, not by compulsion, but because there's nothing funny.

I'm going to doubt this, however, because humans gotta human, and we're as funny as chimps and we have words. So puns will exist even after the revolution has come and gone.
Sep. 4th, 2018 03:10 pm (UTC)
Re: Nothing funny dammit
Yes, Max brought up puns as an example of politically correct humor.

As for me, nothing makes me laugh quite so hard as a good Nazi joke.
Sep. 4th, 2018 03:15 am (UTC)
I would have bought those pendants even without the dramatics. They are way cool!
Sep. 4th, 2018 03:08 pm (UTC)
Yes, but I think you have more disposable income than I do. :-)

I needed those dramatics! :-)
Sep. 4th, 2018 05:33 pm (UTC)
You asked for it, sort of
"So how was it at the concentration camp?"

"It was great. The food was tasty, the beds were soft, and there were movies every night."

"That's surprising. When Werner got out he told me it was terrible"

"That's why they sent him back."
Sep. 4th, 2018 05:38 pm (UTC)
Re: You asked for it, sort of
Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Now that's funny!

I also like the one whose punchline is, Do you think something happened to him?
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )