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The Vanderbilts Snap on Two and Four

More fiendish exercise. Notwithstanding which, I awakened in the middle of the night.

Decided to watch the BBC’s 1995 production of Pride and Prejudice.

Guess what? The scene I remember best from the series—Colin Firth emerging, naked, from Loch Pemberly with a 12-inch erection—never actually took place!

Ah! The vagaries of memory.


Else? Made some money. Need to make more money.

Had a couple of long phone conversations.

One was with Max, and for whatever reason, I couldn’t think of much to say to him.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked.

“Define better,” I said. “My ground state is always ‘melancholy.’ Is that what you mean?”

Apparently, yes, because he immediately launched into a list of things that would make me feel better. They were mostly activities. Start teaching English as a second language again. Go canvassing for Antonio Delgado.

Oh, my GAWD! I thought. Solicitude of offspring for aging, presumed-to-be-addled parent! My life really is a cliché.

The deal is basically that while I love the Hudson Valley—it’s not that it’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever lived, Monterey was plenty beautiful, it’s that the Hudson Valley’s particular type of beauty—a centuries-long compact between Man and Nature—moves me in some peculiar way—there are very few people I can have substantiative conversations with here.

Don’t get me wrong!

There are lots of people to talk to!

Plenty o’ takers whenever I want to have a conversation about composting techniques or the respective attributes of John Deere versus Lawn-Boy mowers.

And it isn’t that I don’t enjoy conversations about composting and John Deere lawn tractors.

But, you know.

Sometimes a girl wants to talk about naked Colin Firth emerging from Loch Pemberly with a 12-inch erection.

And books. Sometimes a girl wants to talk about books.


I went running late, late in the afternoon and got out of Vanderbilt Park just as the ranger was closing the gates.

What happens if you don’t get out before the ranger closes the gates, I wondered? Does that hideous old mansion come to life? Do the ghosts of dead Vanderbilts give parties?

The full moon was just rising. Bright orange. Sturgeon Moon, I believe they call full moons in August. In Pisces, hence my fantasy of swinging dead Vanderbilt soirees, I suppose.

Still, no sign of turning leaves. This was the closest thing I saw to turning leaves:

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( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 28th, 2018 02:58 pm (UTC)
LOL, I never saw that version of P & P with Colin Firth coming out of the lake full monte. You do have vivid dreams.

You need a meetup group for intellectuals or a really good book club. You would think with Marist, Vassar and other colleges around there would be something.
Aug. 28th, 2018 03:10 pm (UTC)
You would, wouldn't you?

I need to put some energy into finding a book club.
Aug. 28th, 2018 03:21 pm (UTC)
I tried a rewatch of BBC's version last Spring and found myself falling more for Lizzie than Darcy so in an effort to reassert lustful feelings for men, switched to Matthew's version and that revved me up again because that taciturn-high-brow-accented-duster-wearing boy just does it for me more. Although, I think he should have been Heathcliff when he was so deliciously young and obtusely silent. Have you seen Tom Hardy fall in love with his wife when the two played Wuthering Heights?

One thing the internetz has done for us rural dwellers is to corroborate what we already know - the most interesting people aren't living next door. That being said, you and a Hudson Valley bookclub would make for delightful reading. Please find one!

Aug. 28th, 2018 03:33 pm (UTC)
I'm such a snob that my favorite Pride and Prejudice version is actually the relatively obscure BBC production made in 1980. It's extremely faithful to the novel.

But I've always had a crush on Colin Firth. Those Brit public school boys do it for me. :-)

Yeah, I like Tom Hardy's Heathcliff a lot.

Clearly, you and D need to relocate and move next door to me. :-)
Aug. 28th, 2018 03:45 pm (UTC)
Why is that snobbish? I'll put that version on my rewatch list. My guilty P&P pleasure is Olivier and Garson!!! LOL! It's very funny and jeez that Laurence was something else. But then my guilty pleasure has always been alt-dress productions. Still, Matthew....I didn't buy Kiera as Lizzie, though. I took an entire semester's worth of Austen in pursuit of my stuffy English degree. AN ENTIRE FREAKING SEMESTERS WORTH. Ahem.

CLEARLY, we do.
Aug. 28th, 2018 04:06 pm (UTC)
The 1980 series is on Amazon. Do you have Amazon Prime? You should be able to stream it for free-ee-ee-ee! As an Austen completist, you really should check it out! The novelist Faye Weldon wrote the screenplay.
Aug. 28th, 2018 11:55 pm (UTC)
I have always had an issue with that production because of Kiera Knightly's extreme camera-worthiness. It made her implausible as the less-beautiful Bennett sister. Why, any random ball with Kiera Knightly at it would cause men to crash into columns and step all over their partners. NO one would need time to notice any "fine eyes."
Aug. 29th, 2018 12:15 am (UTC)
That's part of it.

The other part of it is that Keira at her best (Atonement) is an angry actress, and Elizabeth Bennet is a playful, not angry, part.
Aug. 29th, 2018 12:50 am (UTC)
Haha, so much truth. And they tried...with that godawful rag they called a dress to make her Less but it just cannot be done. I did think it was brill to cast Pike because she is ASTONISHING (I'm still reeling from my two day old viewing of Hostiles) and yet pairing her with Simon Woods' Bingley because THAT'S HYSTERICAL! I will always love that version for Matthew and...*clears throat* the sexiest Mr. Bennet EVAH! In Sutherland and his supporting sideburns.
Aug. 29th, 2018 01:28 am (UTC)
supporting sideburns! SNorT!
Aug. 28th, 2018 03:56 pm (UTC)

Yeah. I'm definitely due a re-watch of that version of P&P. Colin Firth riding his grey hunting cob across the park at Pemberley... Nice seat, Darcy!
Aug. 28th, 2018 04:09 pm (UTC)
Very nice seat! :-)
Aug. 28th, 2018 04:29 pm (UTC)
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Aug. 28th, 2018 04:35 pm (UTC)
Bots are having another slow news day!
Aug. 28th, 2018 11:51 pm (UTC)
The wet shirt STOOD IN for the 12 inch erection and was meant to be understood so. So you remembered right.
Aug. 29th, 2018 12:16 am (UTC)
Yes. Well. You know... :-)
Aug. 29th, 2018 12:52 am (UTC)
Heh, and the vision of her "eyes" while he was navigating the embryonic waters of his estate....
Aug. 29th, 2018 03:16 am (UTC)
Oh, wow. I was ready to leave LJ and go straight to Netflix to watch that movie again... just so I could see Colin.
Aug. 29th, 2018 01:47 pm (UTC)
Is it on Netflix? I caught it on Amazon Prime.
Aug. 29th, 2018 12:16 pm (UTC)

Filthy Firth! He’s good in anything, that fellow. Not that I’m biased, as a white, well-spoken older Englishman.

Aug. 29th, 2018 01:46 pm (UTC)
Ha, ha! Yes, Firth is a really good actor. Although I fear he will never be free of the Regency taint. :-)
Aug. 30th, 2018 12:04 am (UTC)

You mean it was only 6”?

Aug. 30th, 2018 10:58 am (UTC)
Eleven and a half. :-)
( 23 comments — Leave a comment )